Dancing Bears & Rabid Squirrels

Howdy folks! How are you on this spiffing, fabulous, actually really grim and rainy day? I'm okay, thanks for asking. Although, I did just try to shave my arm because I got bored and now there is an odd bald patch in the middle of it. So you know what I did? Instead of panicking and trying to grow the hair back in record time like a depressed bald person, I calmly placed a bandage upon the affected area and tomorrow, when people crowd round me and say things like, 'Oh my golly gee, what happened?' I shall say (very calmly) 'I was mauled by a rabid squirrel.' Then I shall turn and walk (hopefully without falling flat on my face) away. Stop laughing, it's not funny. (:

Okay, so on the thirtieth of January..Heh, I write my numbers instead of using the actual numbers, if you get that...Anyways, on that Saturday I am going to a very posh hall place where my friend's auntie is having her 50th birthday or something. I don't know why she's invited me but there you go. I HAVE FRIENDS. I do not spend my life on this laptop writing blogs...Psssshh, who does that? Not me..Nope...Moving on. Apparently I have to wear a dress. A dress. Yes, let me say it one more time. A dress. I don't like dresses and they don't like me, thats just the way it is. The last time I wore a dress the tights split right down the middle just when this lad asked me to dance and I had to refuse because the minute I got up, everyone would see. So I spent the rest of the night sat on a chair playing with a balloon while everyone had a good time. That is why my family is cursed. But enough of that, I told the girl I was going to come in trackies and a hoodie, like a chav (All you foreign Invisi Clan members..Google it.) Anyways, she was like; 'Nooo, you cannae do that. You get kicked out.' I told her I didn't care but then she did a paragraph of my coursework and I reluctantly agreed to wear a dress. The real dilemma is...I have no dress. I mean, I have one but its like...meh. I guess I can wear it...

I feel odd tonight, odder than usual. Example; I just had three attempts at spelling tonight and then on the fourth I ended up using that old thing I was taught in reception: 'I Go Home Tonight.' Haah. Show's how things stick with you. (:

I can't write anymore. Seriously, it's like, all I end up doing is starting something new, saving it, going back to it, giving up and starting again. I've only finished one story, ever and it was crap. So, blergh. Although, I did write a story today about a mutated pineapple eating people's brains and a man called Brian has to save the world. I was rather proud of it but my English teacher didn't look too amused. Mwahahahaaa..Evil laugh incase you didn't get that.

Ooh, i got a comment ! I would like to thank her for the lovely comment and yes, I will continue this blog and hope the Invisi Clan follow her lead and spill their thoughts on my odd life. Talking of odd, music performances soon. Well, they were today but I 'forgot' my piano book and got out of sitting in front of a bunch of gormless classmates and playing some random song. Originally I was meant to play the intro song of Pride & Prejudice, you know the newest one with Keira whatsherface. But I gave up on that, its too long and I'm now doing a mini piece called The Dancing Bear, it amuses me and is too easy but no one cares.

Anyway, I have nothing else to say except I'm bored, tired and if I keep going I'm gonna end up moaning and ranting and generally being a nuisance. So Good Day and Goodnight.

Toodles xxx

Beans, Insomnia & Nothingness.

Wow. It's a Sunday. And so far, my first week back at school has been a fail. I'm slowly, but surely, failing my early GCSE, which is about Media and the like, I didn't even want to do it, but noooo...Meh, I don't care if I fail. It's just a stupid test. I can read and write and count...to some extent. The funny thing is we're the first people to do it, so I'm a guinea pig..Whoopee for me.

Anywhoo, I'm sitting here in bed, with my hair like a haystack and a giant spot on my nose with I've only just found. It doesn't look like a spot, I don't know what it is. But it's there and I don't like it. It makes my nose look even bigger than it actually is. And my nose is pretty big even without spots. But anyway, I've realised that if you're not popular, or pretty, or have the right friends, your weekends are going to be pretty boring. I've spent the majority of my weekend on this laptop, writing, or moping about the house and eating cookies, or sleeping. I sleep so much now a days, like, I spent the whole of Saturday sleeping, went to the cinema, came home, went on this and then went to sleep at four in the morning, I then proceeded to have the oddest dream ever. It was pretty odd.

And now. At twenty one minutes past two in the afternoon I am sat in bed. Yesterday, or it might have been Friday, my mam was commenting on how nice it would be to go out for lunch..but I think they've just left me, you know. Cos I hear no one. I hope they have. I hate going out places, I'd much rather become a hermit and just live in a cave with homeless dogs, eating my way through countless tins of stolen beans. I'm now thinking about beans..and..Oh dear. I haven't had anything to eat since last night..when I ate a packet of vanilla fudge my friend gave me. Oh well. Here goes my bid to become thin.

So, Invisi Clan, how are you? I hope one of you decides to turn up because if you don't I fear I may fade into nothingness...look...I'm fading....Faaaddddiinnnggg......

I'm not really..I wish I was. No, I don't. I wish I was noticed more. No..Oh, I don't know. I've lost track of the point of this thingy magig. Who cares. Not me. Only the Invisi People who pretend not to be there, but I know they are..somewhere.

Ooh, I saw Avatar the other night, with my mama. We went and we sat there, with our 3D glasses and packet of Minstrels, and let me tell you; it is awesome. In fact, it is more than awesome...it is epic, immense, brilliant, fabulous, amazing...It's very, very, good.

Now go see it! Go, go! While I'm fading into nothingness. (: And then come back and tell me all about it.

Toodles xxx

Why God...why?

What an odd day. I've just realised (thanks to dear Kat) I've spelt Stripy wrong, and so, to fix this problem I'm going to create my own dictionary that will include 'stripey' and other words, for people who are prone to typos. Such as 'Bess' for bless. Oh, that's something interesting I could tell you. While I was typing bless, I accidentally wrote Bess, and further on in this msn conversation my words turned into Lee and Gine. So, without further stalling me and Kat proceeded to make family out of these people. But Kat, being the person she is, refused to give them lives and personalities, so I might and if I do I shall let you invisible people who are reading this know.

Anyways, I had a rather fun day today, considering. Me and Frankus and dear mother went to town to buy mobile phones and clothes. In the end we ended up in a shop trying mental hats and scarves on and admiring all the shiny things we couldn't afford. Darling brother then advised me on which tops I should get, and belts and a bag ;] I don't usually like shopping; the shock, the horror, but today was fun. I never got the hat though, Frankie wanted me to get a Jamaican hat and my mama wanted me to get this hat which was pretty but I wasn't sure. Now she's telling me she's going to go back and get it. Bless her.

I'm going to see my dad tomorrow, actually he's coming up to see us, which is good of him because he lives in London and I don't. I have this theory he's part of the mafia but he's probably not, and now I've said that the whole world knows and maybe his..mafia dudes will stumble across this blog by mistake and kill me in my sleep. I hope not..that would be rather tragic. I want to be an assassin. I even put it down on our school's Focus Day, which was all about the future, not the type of future where skateboards fly and we all live on the moon. But the type where the people who want to be rockstars end up being accountants. There's childhood dreams for you. Anyhoo, on this sheet we had to write down ideas for out 'future', naturally I put RAF pilot, but unfortunately my almost non existent immune system prevents me from doing this, but it doesn't say anything in the assassin criteria for having asthma so I guess I'm in...

Isn't it just annoying when people say things like; 'Oh, I'm so fat.' When they're so obviously not. It's like, stop looking for attention, we know you look like a super model, we know you are as clever as...a clever thing. WE KNOW, SO STOP DENYING IT. And then they say; 'But I feel mean and like a show off if I say the opposite.' And it's like, no one cares.

Okay, mini rant over.

I'm going to London on Friday!! It's for school, but its still gonna be awesome because I'm going with someone who is almost as insane as me. The only problem is the snow. I hope it's okay for Friday, but apparently its meant to keep snowing all month...and its already over my ankles outside my house..I hope school's off until Friday. That would be epic.

Well, I have nothing further to say except listen to the band Chameleon Circuit because they are epic.

Toodles Invisi Peoples. xxx

Water Bombs & John Simms

Well. What an interesting day..I got my new laptop; its a macbook and I've named him George, in fact, I'm on him right now ;D Enough of George though, my day..well, it started off with my dear brother waking me up at eight o'clock, after I had just got to sleep at half past four. After I had given him a slap in the face (by accident of course) everyone opened their presents and it was all happy, happy, happy. We then proceeded to go out to a really posh hotel for Christmas dinner and meet cousins and blah, blah, blah; stole crackers, played with water bombs and blew whistles.

Now the good part. Doctor Who =D Oh, how I love John Simms, especially as the Master..and N'awwhh, he's wearing a dog collar. How cutee is hee. He's like a little puppy..a little cute puppy that has just taken over the world...Right-o...I feel the urge to write a fanfiction about it...but I shall restrain myself, because I have so many to finish..whoops. Plus I'm in the middle of starting a Skulduggery Pleasant one. It obviously won't be as good as the books because they are epic and I adore them but still... ;P

Now...I bet you're wondering about the Christmas water bombs, eh? Well, what happened was on the middle of our table at this hotel were some balloons and there was a weight keeping them from floating away. My oldest and probably cleverest brother was like; Hm, let's open this box and OHMYGEE, National Lampoon's is on ;D Whooopp!! Ah, sorry. Carrying on...and he found a water balloon which he gave to my other brother which was very stupid of him because Frankie is very..uhm, immature..? Especially when it comes to water balloons and the like. Don't worry though, my insane family did manage to have a normal outing for once, nothing bad happened and we weren't chucked out for bad behaviour. Although I did go a bit mad with this whistle I got in a cracker..haahh....

Anywhoo, Boxing Day tomorrow and I'm going to see more crazy relatives and we're going to play games such as Disney Trivia and Guess the Guy who Died Sometime During This Year...the kind of games that usually end in a huge fight and then some drunken idiot decides to jump into the paddling pool and the dogs eat all the food and yes, I'm describing last years Boxing Day party.

Okay, i'm going to leave you to your odd thoughts..whoever is bothering to read this..probably no one, but who cares. Have fun. xxxxx

Apparently it's Christmas Eve...

Ah, yes. Its Christmas Eve...presents are under the tree, I'm wearing a Christmas hat which flashes and my dogs are fighting each other in the hall...all is well. Except I don't feel in the least bit Christmassy, boo me. Everyone is sat in front of the television watching some odd film probably and I'm on this, pretending to know what I'm writing about..How interesting.

I could write about how I got up at three o'clock in the afternoon today because the night before I was going to stay up all night reading all three Skulduggery Pleasant books before going for a walk in the snow with my gay dogs. Yes. My dogs are gay. According to my unofficial stepdad, and dear mother; they are gay. Which is slightly depressing because I want Cocoa; my chocolate labrador retriever to go out into the world, make babies and bring one back for me. How can that happen if he's not in the least bit interested in the opposite sex?! The way things are going I will never see a smaller, cuter version of Cocoa...ever. Which is why I have decided that we shall get either a girl dog, or keep the two apart until Cocoa has done his duty and then they can go back to being gay. Its a cruel world.

It seems to me that all people ever do in blogs is moan or post stupid pictures. Well, I seem to be a moaner but what else is there to write about? In this cruel world of gay dogs and flashing Christmas hats there seems to be only two things which I actually like; reading and writing. I do both and still I have nothing better to do than moan. Maybe i should post a stupid picture. I'll do it later. Eastenders is on. If you don't know what it is. You fail.

Toodles xxx

Why am I writing this..I don't know, you tell me. Seriously..maybe it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. Maybe its because everyone else seems to be doing it. Come to think of it, I can't think of anyone who has one..Oh dear. I fail. Right, what was I saying? I have the memory of a goldfish, its not fair. Once I forgot my English homework and my teacher (she was small and hated me because of my brother, which is hardly fair. Am I my brother? I think not.) Anyway, this was our amazing conversation. I'll call her Mrs M.

Mrs M: Philippa, where's your homework?

Me: I forgot it.

Mrs M: (spitting in my face) Didn't you write it down?!

Me: ...Uhm. No.

Mrs M: (Moving away, thank God.) Well that was stupid of you. Why didn't you write it down?

Me: (slowly sliding down my chair) I forgot.

Mrs M glares.

Me: (stumbling over my words) I have a memory..I'm a fish.

Everyone laughs, I die slowly.

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Yes. That was the amazing conversation we had. Ah well, I don't know what else to write now. My dog is slowly chewing through my sock and my friend has blown up her microwave so I better go.
Toodles. xx (Oh, and have a Merry Christmas. If you want.) ;P